Unstuck
- lynnemoses
- Mar 7, 2023
- 7 min read
I thought of titling this Stuck on You. If you belong to my generation, or as my kids refer to me, ‘Gen X’, then you probably thought of Lionel Richies ‘Stuck on You’ when you read that. Now you have that song swirling around in your head, which is not a bad tune to start chilling to, as we plough into the rest of the week. Head to iTunes. Search Lionel Richie. Hit download. Now I’m dancing on the ceiling, trying to be a lady, while I get this piece to sail on.
If those same kids of mine ever recognised those songs (or ever read my blog) they would say, “Urrrrghhh that’s soooo cringe!!”
Last week, I was completely stuck for a topic that I thought would be of interest to anyone. Since the general theme here is either faith-based or my own personal experiences and growth, you would be correct to assume that I didn't feel much like I had grown neither was I feeling very connected about my faith. Add to that a certain Karin Giddy, who, as we left our Explore class on Sunday evening said goodbye with, “I will be waiting to read your piece this week.” Her words were echoing in my head every time I thought of what to write on.
Roland, who almost never asks me what I’m writing on, jumped on the wagon of my crisis and asked, “So, what are you writing on this week?” No pressure.
There have been plenty of times that I feel rooted to the spot, stuck in an endless loop, trapped by fear, faithlessness or fatigue. These are the top 3 things on my list that can get me stuck. Sometimes, it’s a bad experience. Sometimes its seasonal, which I have read, is pretty normal. Sometimes, it’s just being overwhelmed by bad news. There’s a few things I have done over the years to get me moving out of the sinking sand, grabbing onto something that I can leverage, to pull myself out, and get me back on solid ground.
> Faithlessness
It is a word. I checked! I know the dictionary meaning but I know what it doesn't mean when applied to me. It doesn’t mean I’m backsliding. It doesn't mean I have forgotten God’s goodness. It doesn't mean I don’t read the word and pray. It means that as a human being, I’m having a tough time reconciling all the ugliness I see in the world. It means I don’t understand the brutal shooting that went viral. I don’t understand the death of a young family member and the shock and pain reverberating through the family. I don’t understand receiving a text about a teenager dying of heart disease. I don’t understand what makes an adult run over a school kid in the neighbourhood, then leave them there and drive away.
There are moments where we all have our faith shaken. A bad report from the doctor, the geyser bursts and damages the entire floor, you scratch your car, you trip and fall and break your arm or the storm causes a tree to collapse on your roof. These are times it’s hard not to ask, “Why Lord?” Usually, it’s really tempting to sit in that zone and wallow in despair. My heart is heavy and my mind is fuzzy. It's when I go to the Psalms to remind myself that God is indeed a good Father.
There are so many of the Psalms that speak to a heavy heart but my favourite one is Psalm 16.
“Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you’
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips.
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalm 16:1-11 ESV
It’s not magical. It’s not a spell. It is just the word of God comforting me. Often, I read it again and again until I feel my heart start to agree with what my mind is processing through those words.
If that isn’t enough, I head over to my 2 favourite sermons. I have watched it a hundred times. And each time I’m reminded of how great and awesome, how incomparable and indescribable my God is. I’m reminded that I have a purpose. I’m reminded that I’m loved. I’m reminded that I don’t need to have all the answers to life to keep having faith. I just need to know that God is still on the throne.
Lastly, to give me the last surge I need to pull myself out of that sandpit, I chug in my AirPods and turn up the volume to this. I love the creative licence the song writers have taken with this song. I love the peace and quiet that follows, after I listen to it.
> Fear
Fear has killed many a great idea before it had a chance to take flight. It’s not abnormal to feel stuck for a little while because we fear that first step, or the outcome, or the reaction that may come. Remaining rooted in that fear becomes an issue because the word tells me I am to be rooted in Christ.
“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.”
Colossians 2:6-7 ESV
I have two things I do to get unstuck from fear.
Venting and talking things through is a way to cope with pesky feelings of fear.
Often, before I’m even done talking, I have figured out what, about the situation, makes me fearful. Sometimes my friends are just on the other end of a phone call, quiet. Maybe they’re busy doing their nails, maybe they are busy working or quite possibly they are rolling their eyes that Lynne is on a rant again! Just hearing the words spoken out loud can bring clarity of thought and a solution.
I often go back and pick up a journal of mine and read some of my entries. I have different journals for different things (Disclaimer: I suspect I might be slightly OCD -I can’t write a prayer request in my Sunday sermon journal nor can I write my random bible reading thoughts in my wellness journal). Then there’s the learning journal where I write things I learn from a course or webinar or Youtube video. And of course, the book journal, so I can copy out phrases from a book that I think I may need to quote or share someday!! Journal Junkie. No judgement please.
Sometimes it’s handwritten, sometimes it’s digital but the outcome is always the same. I am reminded that at the time of writing some of the incidents, all I felt was fear at the outcome. Someone was gravely ill, some big decision needed to be made, someone was going through an unbearable situation. And if I keep reading, there is always a theme. That God was always in control. I read until I am reminded of all the times that fear threatened to overwhelm my faith-but God. I can add so many situations that I have faced and end it with- but God. Not the best use of English. True nevertheless.
…….but God gave me peace……but God provided…….. but God healed…… but God moved…..but God delivered…… but God protected……. but God comforted…….but God.
>Fatigue
This one is a something I have heard so often since this year started. It’s something I have expressed myself. We’re tired. Exhausted. Flat. Worn-out. Weary. Drained. Call me Sleeping Beauty and lock me up in Rapunzels tower to just sleep!
If we don’t address it, there is every likelihood that we can become stuck in the cycle of just being tuckered out.
The most obvious solution to this phenomenon is rest. No plans. No activities. Just rest. Take a morning or a few hours to unplug and unwind. Take a nap.
Apart from physical rest, there’s a whole host of other types of rest that may become necessary for you. Social rest? Turn down that lunch invite. Say no to having people over. Skip that catch-up. Shelve the FOMO and just rest!
Emotional rest? Are you barking at your family more than your pet Labrador barks? Schedule an appointment with a counsellor or a therapist.
Sensory rest? Ditch the devices and go for a walk or read a book. Once you establish what type of rest you need, listen to your body.
Rest means different things to different people. The most important thing to remember is to do something about the state you find yourself in. The constant litany of, “I’m tired” is not going to make you feel rested. Some of the top things that have been listed as being activities which bring on a feeling of restfulness are:
doing nothing
listening to music
being alone
being in nature
reading
If you’re reading this, then clearly I have become unstuck. I ditched my Lionel Richie playlist and moved on to the Dixie Chicks. I took a walk around the block yesterday. I’m thinking-that bee that chased me got my heart rate going and voilà-I came unstuck! It's more than likely that one of my trusted methods listed above has worked once again. It's a really good feeling.
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