Spring Cleaning

The change of season can mean many things. The onset of sinusitis and the sniffles with all the flowers coming back to life. Warmer mornings mean getting in a quick 30-minute walk, when I can. Everyone is merrily bustling around embracing the warmer weather.

Packing away left over wood from winter. No, I don’t live on a ranch somewhere, but the fireplace is my best friend during the Jo’burg winter. Swop out toffee nut lattes for caramel iced coffee and hazelnut frappes. Swop out winter blankets for picnic blankets. And of course, for those of us who have closets the size of matchboxes, the dreaded packing away of winter clothes and boots to bring out the slops and sleeveless tops! Some of you might go further and invest in a complete spring-cleaning project. This may include laborious tasks of de-cluttering every room, re-arranging furniture, throwing out unused items and getting your house in tip top shape, which may or may not last a month, at which point you end up back at square one. This got me thinking of some life habits that we sometimes adopt that could do with round of spring cleaning.

How do you recognize that it’s a habit you need to spring-clean? It’s something you repeat without even realizing it, unless someone points it out to you. Even if a bad habit is not causing harm to someone else, it could be something that affects you in a negative way. Either throw these habits out or relegate them to the back of the life closet never to be used again! You choose. Either way, you’re bound to breathe in deeply and think, ‘I should have done this ages ago!’

> If no-one asks

Disclaimer: I am the queen of unsolicited advice. Sometimes, I’m thinking that I’m thinking it, but it just glides out of my mouth before I can stop it. However, the recipient didn’t ask me for my input. Usually, although it was unsolicited, it’s well received. It’s not criticism and not irrelevant. There have, however, been times when I immediately regretted blurting out advice because that is not what the person needed in that moment. They probably needed a hug (which I am very bad at giving) or a shoulder to cry on or just a session to vent (which I am very good at doing). You only ever realise what a pain the neck you are when you become the recipient of unsolicited advice! Oh yes. I recently scratched my head and thought, ‘Geeez….hell! Is this how obnoxious I sound when I do this?’

This got me thinking that for the rest of this year, I will only offer up my bits of wisdom and expertise when specifically asked for it. I know you didn’t ask me for this piece. As you can tell, this is a difficult one to spring clean…….

> If it were me…..

We have all done it. We probably still do it. We judge people on the cars that they drive and the homes that they live in. Cars? As if what someone else drives has any impact on our lives at all. I’m so into not judging. I didn’t even mention BMW drivers here…….errrr oooops!

We judge people on the clothes they wear. How they parent. Which schools they have their kids in. What jobs they have. The shape (misshape?) of their bodies. We judge haircuts. We judge marriages then we judge divorces. We judge career driven individuals, but we also judge those that don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. We judge people who remain single, and we judge if they get married – why so young or why so late in life? We judge holiday destinations and how they celebrate achievements. We judge decisions people have made. We start off with, ‘If it were me…..’

Well, it’s not you. Or me. Much like the point above, you only ever realise what a bad habit it is when you are on the other side of said judgement. You will find that if you make gratitude a daily practice, it becomes easier to celebrate for and with others. Whether you agree with their decisions or not, their contentment becomes your joy. If they win, you win because you are secure in your own life journey. Try it. Just be happy for other people without any ‘if it were me’ thoughts.

> If it’s for you

A couple of years ago, when I was desperately trying to land a permanent post in the judiciary, the adverts were always published in the Sunday Times. Everyone would be waiting eagerly for it and then, despite it being published in a national paper, people would become so secretive about the application process, and which posts they would be applying for. My firm belief is that if I say I trust the plan of God for my life, then even if I give the advert to 50 or 100 other people, if one of those posts was for me, I will get it. Turns out, that wasn’t God’s plan for me and I’m pretty sure I am exactly where He needs me to be. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are some things that need to be kept close to your chest. Don’t share your idea for the next great App or the next innovative gadget that would secure your early retirement.

There are, on the other hand, plenty of instances where just sharing of information and knowledge could help someone make a decision that changes their life for the better. Follow that old childhood adage. Sharing is caring.

> If you need to stop

It’s been the buzz for a few years now. Not learning new things. Unlearning the way we used to do things and relearning how to do it differently and better. I read an interesting article where the discussion point was leadership. Specifically, how leaders were constantly being told what to do. Leaders know what to do. The problem was that no-one was telling leaders what they needed to stop doing. Unlearn. Then Relearn.

> If you’re an octopus

Gone are the days when multi-tasking was considered a skill. It actually reduces your efficiency. Don’t be fooled that productivity is increased when you multi-task. The quality of what you produce is more important than how many different things you can churn out for one poor little soul. Take a breath. Prioritize. One of the younger guys in the team that I work in looked at my work notebook in horror. A notebook. And a to-do list. What can I say? I very old school. It certainly works for me.

> If you say yes

This one is so simple (and it’s Biblical!). Matthew 5:37 But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’ [a firm yes or no]; anything more than that comes from the evil one.

In fact, may I be so bold as to suggest reading the whole of Matthew chapter 5? You might just possibly find it contains several things that are worth considering and re-considering.

If you say yes to something, then attack it with all your energy and might. The fact that you said yes should prevent any grumblings and grumpiness. You said yes. You make it work. Whatever it is. Otherwise, you should have said no. Is it really that simple? Yes. It is.

> If it wasn’t you

Not that weird song by Shaggy. It wasn’t me. If it wasn’t your idea, please give credit to the one whose brain thought of it. Nothing irks me more than having my own idea repeated to someone……by someone else! Sometimes its shared ideas. So, share the credit. I recently had someone tell me how they had explained MY idea to someone and I was never credited for that idea. To say my annoyance-meter worked overtime is an understatement. In terms of spring cleaning, vacuum this one away and empty the bag in the dustbin.

As I upload this piece, it’s early morning and my household is still asleep. Outside, however, I can see the steady stream of the 5am joggers, who were very sparse just last month. The birds are wildly celebrating amongst bright new green leaves in the tree outside the window. The dogs are glad they no longer have to be couped up inside and together they sing a very off key, disjointed song of spring. It’s midweek. I’m not stressed about Monday meetings and I’m looking forward to Friday afternoon to knock off work. The happy middle ground which makes me think it’s a good enough time to start looking at some spring-cleaning. Brace yourself. Like spring cleaning a house, it’s not pleasant and it could get downright gritty and grimy. But oh, the satisfaction when you’re done.

A fresh start, discard the unwanted things that don't fit any longer (emotionally and psychologically), dust off some of the things that used to bring you happiness but have been shelved for whatever reason, make some adjustments and get ready to enjoy the new season.