Social Media Shenanigans:You know who should read this...

I have never run from confrontation. I have also not been popular because of it. I suspect that there are those who probably cringe because it’s a trait they don’t like about me. Even with this characteristic of mine, which I consider strength, I have found myself guilty of passive-aggressive behavior on social media. The message appeared peaceful, polite, even graceful but the energy and thought process behind it was anything but! Why? Because it’s so much easier than having an uncomfortable conversation or encounter.

Social Media platforms have made it quite easy for people who hate confrontation to perpetuate passive-aggressive behavior from behind the screens of their online lives. A bit of dilemma because passive-aggressive suggests something hidden but it’s being carried out on a public forum.

Cryptic posts and vague memes have become the order of the day and more and more people are starting to become thoroughly annoyed by it. We post something hoping that the person who slighted us is going to see the post and get the message we don’t have the guts to say face-to-face. If you’re doing it-stop. It is an unproductive, cowardly approach. Heaven knows I check myself every time I want to post these days to make sure I’m not falling back on bad habits. We must not stand idly by and endorse covert bullying under the guise of humour, sketchy scenarios and vague posts.

Here’s a couple of examples of the kind of comments and posts that we commonly see and have to bite our virtual tongues and stop our virtual eyes from rolling.

- Congrats on your new home. It’s a great starter home. (Backhanded compliments make you sound downright jealous.)

- I love those jeans but I’m too skinny for it to suit me. (Yes-we know you’re saying the person wearing them is fat.)

- Cute baby even with the big ears. (No words to even justify such meanness towards a kid.)

- Your holiday pics look amazing but my money goes towards my student loans. (Sorry, I’m not sorry I work hard and save while you go partying every weekend…)

- I know a certain someone who should read this….. add link to blog or post meme. (That someone doesn’t know you’re talking to them. But all your other friends are wondering what the hell happened between you and the person they know you’re talking about.)

- Don’t think I don’t know what you did……(if you did know, you would have confronted them by now.)

- Some people need to learn manners. (Now we’re all wondering whether it’s a stranger on the street or your partner who didn’t say thanks for the very expensive perfume you bought as an anniversary gift.)

- Listening to XXXX on repeat. Don’t even ask! (We won’t. You should just tell us already!)

- Thank you to my REAL friends who made my day unforgettable. (Glad you found out who your real friends are. Now I can block you.)

- YOU know what you did…..(Maybe they do, maybe they don’t.)

- The way some people think they are smart…….(I’m giving myself a pat on the back because that is exactly what I think.)

Here are some points to consider:

We know what you’re doing. It’s not cute or funny. Sometimes, we even know whom you’re posting about! Credit us with some intelligence and go have a real conversation with the person who ticked you off.

Not giving details does not make your post more appealing. You may think that by ‘insulting’ someone via a meme or vague post is actually showing some respect, you’re not. You know. I knew it when I did it. Delete that post and address it one-on-one.

How on earth will you teach your kids how to behave online if you are busy with your passive-aggressive nonsense? You have another generation watching you. Is this really what you want them to learn about conflict resolution?

This doesn’t solve anything. Not your issues with ‘some people’ or with anyone at all really.

You’re not just venting. You are allowed to vent-sure. But the next step should be addressing your issue, imagined or otherwise, with the party concerned. If your passive-aggressive post is just followed up with another one, well you have a problem. Try to walk it off, try Pilates, or read a good book. You’re not garnering sympathy from your online following, you’re alienating them.

My final thoughts on this would be:

- Do ask yourself, “What is my intention is behind this post?”

- Do use common sense

- Do realize confrontation doesn’t have to be ugly or aggressive. It is an opportunity for growth.