Social Media Shenanigans: Stranger Danger

Caitlin, my seventeen-year-old daughter recently took a photo of me lying in the sun, on a blanket, in the backyard. Actually, I may have had my eyes closed and was snoozing. She stealthily took my cellphone and said, “When I have my own Insta account I’m going to embarrass you and post this.” I had a quiet giggle because I wouldn’t be embarrassed. I would be the envy of my friends who wish they could just lie around in the winter sun doing nothing! In fact, I can hear them saying, “Damn that Lynne, now that’s the life.” I said, “Oh just Insta, not Facebook?” To which she replied, “Facebook is for old people!"

I’m not sure how accurate her statement is but I do think she has a point. It has become the platform of choice for people of a certain age group. It was all the rage to have hundreds of friends and create groups and hold watch parties. More recently, on a very sobering note, it has become the platform of choice to stream funeral services and memorials.

Whenever my kids get a chance, they love to look at my Facebook page. Despite them insisting it’s for old people, they do get a kick out of my activities there. Of course, one of the things they frowned upon was how few friends I had. It really is no secret that I’m not the flavor of the month with most people but when it comes to friend requests and people following me on social media platforms, I am quite picky.

Take for example that person who is a friend of a friend (of a friend), you have never met personally but here comes that friend request and you can’t be rude now can you? With no firm rules to govern online behavior, people are making mistakes and paying dearly for them. Here are a few suggestions when it comes to friend requests and you won’t be considered rude for doing this:

1. Always check the page of the person sending the request

Cybercriminals have no qualms stealing identities and creating fake profiles in order to widen their net of nefarious activities. Check the page, check when that person joined, check how regularly that person posts, check how many mutual friends you have, check the photo’s and check-ins. Check if a person with that name has any other social media accounts. Check, check, check!

2. Don’t be afraid to ask questions before accepting requests

Don’t just accept requests from strangers. Send a polite message on Messenger saying, “Thank you for the friend request. Won’t you please remind me how it is we know each other?” While on the subject of Messenger, let me add this. Social networking is a formidable force. It is very tempting to find comfort in that person who randomly befriends you on Messenger. Don’t use Messenger to find ‘new’ friends. Rest assured that they will always have an ulterior motive for finding you. The whole concept of ‘secret messages’ makes me want to smack someone. Single people this is not a dating site. You are opening yourself up to unspoken dangers. Married people-be wary of befriending strangers and giving away too much information about your life and your family. Stranger danger is not just a term reserved for children. It is a reality in the digital world. You could be opening yourself up to huge reputational damage based on the type of ‘friends’ you connect with. Your friends will always have your best interests at heart. Do your online friends have the same intentions?

3. Duplicate dealings

Don’t just accept friend requests from people who are already your friends on Facebook. Apply common sense and ask that person if they have created another account before accepting. In most cases, you will find, they haven’t!

4. Ask for permission

If you find you have mutual friends and you quite enjoy someone’s posts, don’t be afraid to message him or her and say, “ Hi. I’m a friend of X, who has shared your posts. I am sending you a friend request and hope we can connect and stay in touch.” If they don’t answer you or accept the friend request, you have your answer. In this way, they can also exercise point 1. Check, check, check.

My final thoughts on this would be:

· Do use common sense. What applies in real life applies to your digital life too.

· Do be aware that cybercriminals want to weasel their way into your life to harvest your valuable personal information.

· Do be on stranger danger alert.