Social Media Shenanigans:Singles Solitude

Long before the pandemic sent us scurrying to have a blended life with online and real living, social media had already started to become a place to find romance. Suddenly, people went from struggling to find one date, to having access to several potential partners at once. As fascinating and effortless as this may seem, the viciousness and cruelty of people on social media platforms has led to countless lives and reputations being damaged.

Whether you think you have control over it or not, here are some suggestions for those who are single and using social media platforms for your love life. The cadence and tone of the dating scene has changed. You have to change along with it. Use the tools available to you but be cautious. Now I haven’t been single for a long time but I don’t need to be single to encourage you to take note of my mantra. Use your common sense.

Tempting Texts

In days gone by, we could actually sit across the table from a prospective partner and spend hours discovering each other. Long conversations over cappuccinos were critical to building a relationship and deciding whether you were going to be in it for the long haul. Today, messaging has become a popular practice and a huge criterion in maintaining a healthy relationship. Still, there are inherent dangers as texts get misunderstood when you’re still getting to know each other.

Witty comments and jokes often get lost in translation depending on the mood of the recipient and can instantly cause disconnect. Without the nuances of face-to-face interaction, it is sometimes easy to get carried away and say things you wouldn’t normally.

Beware of becoming seduced by digital intimacy, when in fact the person you are speaking to is having these text conversations with several people at the same time. You can easily start to conclude that the relationship has progressed further than it actually has. You start to feel that it is a committed, intense and complete relationship because of the length of time spent texting. There might be instances where this is true, but more often than not you will find that an eventual face-to-face encounter is not nearly as intense as your text messages were.

Open Doors

Have you ever noticed that the simple courtesies we afford each other in real life are missing in online interactions? People are more critical, more judgmental and meaner online than you might find them to be in real life? It’s so much easier to call someone out online because you don’t have to deal with and irate, offended person face to face. In this instance, I need to point out that ignoring someone or ghosting someone is never a good idea. Would you ever just ignore someone standing in front of you, addressing you about something? Why then do it online? If you’re brave enough to be conducting online relationships, then you need to brave enough to tell someone in a firm and definite manner that the relationship is over. Ignoring someone always leaves that door open, with you as an option on the other side of it. Is it any wonder that the person keeps texting and trying to get a response from you? Make it clear in a proper conversation so that there is no room for misinterpretation. Is it the more difficult way? Yes! In all of human history, doing the right thing has never been easy.

Precarious Photos

Be careful with the kind of photo’s you exchange with your potential partner. Once again let me stress the dangers of digital intimacy. You might feel you are ready to take your relationship to the next level and distance or circumstances prevent you from doing so. You could lose your reputation with the click of a button. The law is now much more victim friendly when it comes to the distribution of intimate images but save yourself the heartache in the first instance and do not share intimate images of yourself. By the time the perpetrator is brought to justice, your reputation could be in tatters and your life will forever be changed.

My final thoughts on this would be:

· Do keep your friends involved with any new online romance. You are far less likely to endanger yourself if your friends know what’s going on in your romantic life

· Do take your time to get to know someone face to face

· Do trust your instincts