Social Media Shenanigans:Deadly Devices

Today it suddenly hit me that Cait will be 18 in roughly 3 months and I will need to get her a cellphone. Not a new one. Her FIRST one. She has access to an old cellphone of mine which serves as a ‘home’ phone and she shares the device with her sister. It’s sole purpose is for me to be able to check on them, if ever I’m out of the house without them. It has gotten Kelsie punished more than she cares for and she has lost many privileges for not following the rules around the use of that phone.

If you have placed a device in the hands of your child, it is your responsibility to make sure that he or she knows how to behave whilst using the social media platforms available to them because of that device. No-you do not get to bury your head in the sand and hope for the best, trusting that your little darlings have got it together. If we as adults struggle with our behaviour in the cyber world, how could a child possibly know how to handle it?

These are some of the rules I apply. Am I hated for them? I’m quite certain that I am. It’s a price I’m prepared to pay to ensure that they have a life to enjoy in the future, instead of having to change their names, move to a cottage on the far side of the Swiss Alps because something they post goes viral on social media and they cannot show their faces in public again without being known as ‘the girl who……’

Spot checks

Yes-I check devices. If you want privacy, you will get that when you close your room door and read a book. There is no privacy when I have put something in your hand that could potentially destroy your whole life because you didn’t know how to deal with something online. How else would I have found out that a little somebody had opened an Instagram account and had FOLLOWERS? That died a quick death because her actual death was something we discussed as a result of that adventurous stunt.

Hands free

Even though the device is meant to be for emergencies, it’s often being used for the camera function, to sneak in a quick browse on the net and to say hi to someone via text message. I take it away from my kids and say, “Let your hands find something else to do. I WANT THAT PHONE, IN MY ROOM, NOW!” Is it any wonder that at a recent mentoring session, my one daughter described me to a virtual room full of other moms and daughters as an army general? Oh boy I’m so concerned that other mommies will judge me. Rolling my eyes. Do a spot check and come back me. What you find will NOT be pretty.

Make a phone call

I have often offered up my own cellphone for the girls to actually call their friends and have a conversation. I even encourage a Whatsapp call or video call. Very seldom am I taken up on it. At which point the army general makes an appearance and the device gets taken away. If you want to have a conversation, have a real one. One where you can hear your friends voice, where your eyes are not glued to a screen, where you might inadvertently type a message that could land you in hot water. Have a one-on-one focused conversation, where you are not juggling several chats at once and might end up sending a text to the wrong person.

My final thoughts on this would be:

• Do check any and all devices that your children have at their disposal

• Do get involved in your child’s online activities

• Do make sure you acquaint yourself with friends your child has met online