Promises, promises

In our home, my husband is the researcher. He has spent copious amounts of hours (which translate into years) on research for his dissertations and articles. I’d like to think that I learned from him so I decided to do some painstaking research before I wrote this one.

I asked six friends, ‘How many of you take your cellphones into the toilet?’ Yes-that was the research question and the extent of my research activities.

Four out of six said that they do. One said, ‘Yuck!’ and the the other said, ‘Nooooo not me’.

I said, ‘Tell the truth and shame the devil, we have all done this at some stage!’

For some of us, the toilet is our quiet place. The safe zone. The Escape Room. Where your aim is not to get out but stay in as long as you can. The one place where you don’t hear the war zone going on in your living room because word missiles have been launched and one child called the other a Vulcan.

Somewhere along the line, I started this disgusting habit of taking my cellphone into the toilet with me and ended up scrolling through social media, checking emails and watching Youtube. I convinced myself that it was ok since I was able to read my digital books or even catch up on my Bible reading. I can only imagine the Lord’s reaction to that last one!

The most obvious and glaring reason to quit this horrific practice is germs, germs, germs. For someone who was carrying around hand sanitisers long before the pandemic started, I surprised even myself that germs were not reason enough to leave my cellphone out of the toilet. Next, of course, is the unnecessary amount of time you spend in the toilet if you take your phone in with you-when really the aim is to get in. And get out. All that sitting in a weird position is not good for you and haemorrhoids is a painful reality.

Neither of the above reasons was why I quit my cellphone toilet expeditions. I actually quit because I decided to make one change for the year. Just one. No big drama about goals and vision boards and challenges. (I do have them still but that’s another topic altogether). No rallying around my trusted circle convincing others to go on a journey with me. No. I simply decided to make one change and keep my word to myself.

Have you ever found that you would move heaven and earth, skip a meal, neglect your family and even break the speed limit to keep your word to someone else? Keeping our word shines a spotlight on our values and standards. How we keep our word to others tells them how much we value them. It speaks to our integrity and level of commitment. We know our reputation is at risk should we ever break our word to anyone else.

However, just tell yourself you’re changing your diet and the very next day Uber eats is at your door with Simply Asia number 319, extra hot! Just decide to start walking and suddenly you don’t have the right footwear, your weak ankles need a rest or you have a major work project that will suffer if you take a twenty minute walk. Decide to read more and you find yourself scrolling through Google Play to find a film adaption of the book because that would be faster. And yes. You scrolled while on the toilet seat!

Of course, it is absolutely essential to have accountability partners as you do life. It keeps you focused, keeps you sticking to deadlines and generally, in my world, just keeps me sane. We all need that someone who will text you at 5am and say, ‘I’m checking how far you are with XYZ?’ Then starts the mad scramble to get it done because you absolutely cannot let them down.

This year, in addition to having an accountability partner, I decided to keep my word to myself. No negotiations, no side roads, no half measures. If I decide to do something, then I will put in the same amount of effort to see it through, like I would if I were doing it for my family or my best friend. I have broken my word to myself so many times it became the norm of how I do life. The excuse or solution was always the same. I can start again tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year. If I have learned anything over the last two years, it is that too many people never got their tomorrows.

So what’s your one thing? What one thing would you want to change for this year? What’s the one bad habit to break or the good habit to start? What needs to change? Just one teeny little bit? What would make your heart leap just a little when you get to 31 December 2022 and you are able to say, ‘I did it!’

I am now on day 17 of a cellphone free toilet routine. Am I in the running to win any great accolades about it? Heck no! But it feels good. And it has certainly kick started my thought process about what else I could do if I just keep keeping my word to myself.