Potiphar's Wife

The nameless woman. I could name her. You could probably name her too. The shameless woman. I have encountered her. Forty (cough) years on this earth, 24 as a working woman, 22 married, and 18 being a mother-yes, I have encountered Potiphar’s wife many times. You have probably encountered her too. Of course, if you know the story, we all want to align ourselves with the hero of the chapter. Joseph, sold into slavery by his brothers. Taken to Egypt as a teenager, he has grown in the ranks of slavery and is a wealthy, prominent official’s right-hand man. Potiphar has entrusted his entire life and household to Joseph. He has seen that the Lord was with Joseph and everything he did succeeded, so Joseph found favour in Potiphars sight. The only thing off limits to Joseph is Mrs. Potiphar. Genesis 39:6 tells us that all Potiphar concerned himself with was what he ate. His wife, however, had ferocious appetites of her own, which she was intent on satisfying with Joseph. The cherry on the top is when Joseph refuses to entangle himself in any sinful act with her, he is wrongly accused of rape and thrown into prison. At which point you might be tempted to say, “Welllll, if he was going to get punished in any event, he should have just taken what was offered to him!”

Now, if you’re thinking this piece is going to go the way of resisting temptation and being falsely accused, you might as well stop reading now. Yes, Joseph is indeed a strong, God-fearing man that we can learn from. We can also learn from Potiphar’s wife. She is no heroine in this tale.

I asked myself three things as I read this story.

1. Where do I cast my eyes?

The writer of Genesis tells us that Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. We are also told that his master’s wife, cast her eyes on Joseph and attempted to seduce him. The way I read the text, he refused her offer the first time she asked. But verse 10 tells us that she went on to continuously (relentlessly!) pursue Joseph, day after day, while he continued to refuse her advances. Talk about a brazen woman! Talk about confidence. Talk about not getting the message. Talk about a lack of moral boundaries! Talk about unchanged behaviour! It pains me to repeat this. I know this woman.

Clearly this woman was confident about something. Perhaps she was confident in her position of authority, or her wealth? Perhaps she had engaged in such infidelities before and other slaves had not refused her suggestive offers? Perhaps she was so confident in her sexuality that she knew she could eventually wear down Joseph’s refusal, with offering him her body and pleasures which most men would be only too happy to accept.

The long and the short of it is that God is interested in how we use our sexuality. He created sex for the confines of marriage and any attempt to enjoy it elsewhere is inevitably going to lead to sorrow. It will be good for a time. It might even seem right for a time. Nothing done outside of the will of God has the ability to have any longevity at all.

Our bodies were not created or formed to lure someone into sin.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

This is in such contradiction to what the world tells us. Sex sells. From toothpaste to nail polish to hair colour, we can’t escape the message that sex is the ultimate goal. The world and its standards may have changed. God and his word has not.

Where do you cast your eyes single women? Do you cast it on someone else’s boyfriend or fiancé? Do you think that anyone is fair game until they have said, ‘I do’?

Where do you cast your eyes married women? Do you relentlessly pursue someone else’s husband, craving what does not belong to you? Do you spend more time pursuing someone else’s spouse while neglecting to take care of your own?

Do you dress to catch the eye of someone already in a committed relationship? Do you deliberately position yourself so that you cannot be missed? Do you ensure you can be heard and seen so that your prey has no choice but to take notice of you? Do you change your hair, your clothing, where you buy your coffee all in the hopes of stirring something with someone you have no business casting your eyes on? Are your nimble fingers busy on messaging platforms instead of tending to your own household? Where do you cast your eyes?

Does this sound harsh to you? It sounds even worse to be asking myself the very same questions and examining my heart and mind. To be asking myself-where have I cast my eyes? Every single one of us, male or female, single or married have been in situations where we have looked at someone and entertained less than Godly thoughts. If you haven’t, please share your success story with me! God in his infinite love, wisdom, mercy and grace still gives us a chance to stop being Potiphar’s wife and to turn to him. To leave behind what the world tells us is the norm and to keep ourselves submitted to him. We can try to live a God-fearing life on our own. We will never succeed. We need the Holy Spirit guiding us every minute of every day if we have any hopes of NOT being Potiphar’s wife.

2. What do I do with my time?

I was once hooked on the series Desperate Housewives. Until the plot took so many unrealistic, conniving turns that I went back to Law and Order! Can you just imagine Potiphar’s wife living on Wisteria Lane? Rich, bored, entitled and idle. She was the wife of a rich man. She had servants, she had money. Surely there must have been some Egyptian market she could have gone to? She chose instead to stay where she knew the object of her desire would be.

It is very likely Potiphar’s wife had other women in similar standing who were a part of her circle. She chose instead present herself repeatedly to this young man, where her intention was to seduce him. He was a servant. The options available to him for this to turn out in his favour were very limited. Being in charge of the entire household meant that Joseph had no choice but to be in the proximity of the mistress of the house. If he was in the garden and she pitched up, what could he do? Tell the mistress of the house to leave? If he was overseeing duties inside the house and she was there, what could he do? Surely, he would have to complete his tasks or answer to Potiphar for anything left incomplete. What could he tell Potiphar? “I was busy dodging your unfaithful wife so I couldn’t complete repairing this wall!”

The nameless, shameless woman’s time was dedicated to pursuing Joseph. The way it is described suggests a daily occurrence. Imagine daily offering yourself to someone and daily being rejected. Imagine finding places to be so you could be noticed yet the person looks the other way. Still, this didn’t inspire her to spend her time differently.

Sounds familiar to me. I want to write but I watch an episode of something frivolous. I want to study for Explore exams and read a James Patterson novel! I want to get in shape but end up frying samoosas instead! Boredom, restlessness and idleness. The devil’s playground.

What are we doing with our time? Scrolling through social media feeds wanting someone else’s life instead of working to create our own story? Pursuing someone else’s relationship instead of taking care of the one we have? Daydreaming and fantasizing about success instead of actively working towards it?

What we do with our time might not necessarily be directed towards sinful behavior but are we using it wisely? What steps can we take to steer clear of things that satisfy our flesh but stunt our spiritual growth? The first step is recognising that we are caught up in something that could lead to potential disaster. The longer we continue thinking that our actions are harming no-one and so we continue, the further we remove ourselves from God, whose views on holiness has not changed since those dusty, hot days in Egypt, when Joseph faced the choice between Godly behavior and satisfaction of his flesh.

3. How do I respond to NO?

We all know it.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned-William Congreve's 'The Mourning Bride' (1697).

When Potiphar’s wife was rejected one too many times by Joseph, she turned vindictive and accused him of rape. Where her household was flourishing because of Joseph, she chose to teach him a lesson and put her households prosperity at stake. Remember, Potiphar had already acknowledged that the Lord was with Joseph. He understood the favour of God that allowed Joseph to excel at everything his hands touched. Now, the stability and contentment that Potiphar enjoyed by having Joseph in charge of his house was snatched from him with a bold and serious accusation. Potiphar had no choice but to act. His failure to act would mean he believed his servant’s version over that of his wife. Instead of ordering Joseph’s death, Potiphar had him thrown in prison and we hear no other account of this woman. We do read of Joseph. Who still had the Lord on his side. Who still prospered. Who still fulfilled the purpose that God had ordained for him.

How do we respond to no? Do we turn vicious and vindictive and set out to teach someone a lesson? Do we tell lies to save face and save our own reputation? Do we walk away and try another, more aggressive way or do we refuse to accept no as an answer? Now, there are instances where ‘no’ should not deter us. We wouldn’t have Chicken Soup for the Soul or Harry Potter if Jack Canfield and JK Rowling accepted all the no’s that came before the one yes! But sometimes, a no is for our own good. If Joseph had succumbed to Potiphar’s wife’s advances, not only would he have been committing a sin, he would have also led her down a path of destruction. Joseph’s ‘no’ was logical and truthful. It was a sin against his master. It was a sin against God. Even if he chose to ignore the human master, he could not sin against his heavenly Master. The One who had protected and promoted him, even his in slave status.

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If you have answered yes to any of the tortuous questions I have posed, then this is a reminder that the same God who was looking out for Joseph is also looking out for you. He wants you. Even if you have been Potiphar’s wife, his saving grace is still available. I asked where do you cast your eyes? Perhaps it’s time to cast your eyes to the cross, where Jesus died for the forgiveness of our sins. Where he can take Potiphar’s wife and turn her into a child of God. Our story of bad behaviour, will be covered with righteousness that can only come from acknowledging our sinful ways, repenting and leaving those old ways behind. Our story where people hear it or read it and think, 'how scandalous!' Where every vile name is thrown at us and we start to think that that is who we really are. You don't have to tell anyone else that you were a bad guy in the tale. Tell the One who matters. Only God can change the way our story ends. There is nothing to be gained from holding on to behaviour that separates us from God. There’s everything waiting for us in the presence of a forgiving God who has a plan and a purpose for every story. Even a story where you were not the heroine.