Fabulous Fathers
- lynnemoses
- Jun 17, 2023
- 6 min read
I have been harassed on what I will be writing about for Father’s Day. I got, “So, you told us what mothers don’t want. Are you going to do the same for the fathers?”
And yes. That came from the males.
Of course, I have never been a dad, so I have no clue what you guys want. I have been fortunate enough that my children have had their dad actively involved in their lives from day one. There are probably some single mums out there who are both mum and dad to their kids that could throw me a bone here, but they deserve their own accolades for carrying their homes in the absence of a dad.
Having grown up in a home with a single mum, I was blessed to have uncles and church leaders who played a pivotal role in filling some of the gaps.
The one gap that was never filled is that I still can’t ride a bike! That’s one of the things dads do. They teach you how to ride a bike.
So, when that memory popped into my head, I naturally went in the direction of what I think you should be teaching your kids. WAIT!
Don’t worry. I stopped myself.
I decided give you something substantial to support your daily journey of being, as Stephen Kendrick outlines, seven roles that a father plays in the life of his family: provider, protector, leader, teacher, helper, encourager, and friend. You have many roles to play for just one person and you are not alone as you trudge through the mine fields, hoping to make it out in one piece.
The most obvious place I gravitated to for guidance was the Bible. It’s here that you will find the perfect example of a Father, the Creator of the universe, who loves unconditionally, full of mercy, compassion and grace. From the word of God, you can find everything you need to guide you to be exactly the kind of father your family needs. He is right beside you as you plough through, doing the best that you can.
It is my sincere hope that these verses will give you just a taste of what the Bible holds for you and that you will be drawn deeper into God’s word as you explore what else He has to say to you, from His word, about being the kind of dad He created you to be.
1 Timothy 5:8 ESV
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
1 Timothy 5:8 ESV
For me, 1st and 2nd Timothy is a blueprint for how to live life. I get it more wrong than right and when I do read it, I cringe inwardly and outwardly too!
The word is clear about providing for your own household. Even if you are unemployed, you can provide your time, encouragement, attention and serve your family without you having to spend a single cent. Even if you are the stay-at-home parent, you must be involved in financial decisions and you must apply Godly principles when money is spent.
Just because your household is just you, while your kids live with their mum, does not mean that you get to lavish your money on yourself because the verse says ‘especially your own household.’ God has shown Himself as provider throughout scripture. If you want to get it right, model what the word says.
1 Timothy 2:8 ESV
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;”
One of the most important things you can do for you kids is to teach them to pray. For themselves, for each other, for the church, for their schools and universities, for their families, for the community, the sick, the needy, for the country. The list is endless. Let them hear you pray for them. Step outside of the comfort zone of relying on the woman in the house to pray. You are the head of your home.
If you live in a different home, you can call your child to pray for them or try texting a prayer to your child. If it is important for their well-being and growth, you will find a way to do what needs to be done.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Philippians 4:6 ESV
Joshua 24:15 ESV
“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."”
Whether we like it or not, they will do what we do, not what we say. Church is not an option, it’s a necessity. It is up to you to set the example and get your family to church. Yes, sometimes you can’t. Illness or circumstances might prevent you from attending but you are the church, not the building where church is held. Gather your family together and there is an endless supply of resources to watch and listen to, to have ‘church’ in your own home.
The spiritual well-being of your child is even more crucial, if you don’t live with your child on a full time basis.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 ESV
Hebrews 12:7
“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”
This is a tough one because in every home, one parent naturally assumes the role of disciplinarian. Disciplining a child is hard. Tweens, even harder. Teenagers-deep breaths and a big sigh. It is a monumental task! It is also imperative for growth. You need to be involved in that process. Stop with the, “Don’t let mummy see you doing that!”
The same applies to mums. Don’t play the, “Wait until Daddy gets home!” game.
Discipline should happen in the moment (or soon after) or it loses the impact and the teaching opportunity. Whoever dished out the discipline, the other parent must be on the same page about it. Even if you disagree in private, never let those little ears know that you are divided about it.
Discipline, when your kids time is split between two parents and two homes, is tricky. It will require extra effort to get it done. Put in the extra effort even if you believe you have done your bit.
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Proverbs 13:24 ESV
Philippians 2:3-4 ESV
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Leaders serve. It’s that simple. To be the leader in your home, you must serve. Your children must see you serving. Serving takes your time, energies, finances and your emotions. It is sacrificial. If it was easy, then you could pay someone to do it for you! It very seldom brings any tangible rewards. The word of God, once again is super clear about it. Love God. Love people.
“And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."”
Matthew 22:37, 39-40 ESV
Maybe you feel that the scriptures are outdated and hold no real value for your life right now. Perhaps, you think it’s archaic and there are many other books and articles to help you navigate fatherhood. My challenge to you this Father's Day is to take a few minutes every day to meditate on the word of God.
“My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”
Proverbs 3:11-12 ESV
“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.”
Psalm 103:13 ESV
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV
This year, I have been using the SOAP method to help me with reading the scripture. There's many other study methods. Choose one that works for you.
Scripture
Identify a scripture that speaks to you.
Observation
What do you observe about the scripture?Application
How can you apply this scripture to your life?
Prayer
Pray about what you have read and ask him to help you apply this truth in your life.
Don’t just read the verse, read the entire chapter. Don’t just read the chapter, read the entire book. Dive in. Your heavenly Father is waiting to speak to you.
A special shout out to the hardworking, dedicated ‘FARRTHA’ in our home. You are a true example of God the Father to our children, full of unconditional love, compassion and grace, giving gifts and rewards they do not deserve. Any man that walks in here to claim the hearts of these two lucky lumps had better be able to love and provide for them the way their daddy does.
To those missing their dads this Father's Day, may you hold on to your heavenly Father to draw comfort and strength.
Happy Father's Day. May it be all that you hoped it would be.
Free download of Warriors of Worship and Praise for this Father's Day weekend.
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