Social Media Shenanigans:Parenting Pitfalls

The magnitude of underage kids online and unsupervised is hair-raising. Children as young as six are being handed devices because parents just need a break from the nagging refrain, “Everyone has a phone but me!” Many adults are crappy enough with inappropriate online behavior and don’t have the social and emotional skills to cope with the requirements of social media, yet, we are expecting our children to maneuver their way with little to no guidance.

Most popular social media sites allow children aged 13 and above to register an account, without needing any parental consent. This includes FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, HouseParty, Tumbler, Reddit, Twitch and Snapchat, these being just some of the common ones. These are the requirements by law and not mere recommendations. If you have allowed your kids to set up accounts before they are of age, you are sending a very dangerous message that the law can be broken and that is a moral dilemma you will have difficulty recovering from at a later stage. I’ll give you a minute while you indignantly think, “How dare she judge me?” before I go on with this post.

Believe me-the last thing I am doing is judging or questioning you as a parent. I do hope that you will re-think and re-assess how active a role you play in your child’s online life. Here’s a random example for you. I know a certain little someone who regularly checks my Whatsapp status update. It is where I have been posting the links to this blog. Imagine this little person befriending someone online who posts links to inappropriate content in an attempt to groom them towards a sinister encounter. Scary thought but not an unlikely scenario.

If your child is below 16 and has been given the privilege (and responsibility) of having a device in their hands here are some important things you should consider.

If you have allowed them to set up accounts despite not meeting the age requirement, you should immeditlaey apologize for letting them think it was ok to break the law and shut down those accounts. Yes- you will be the bad guy for a little while but it’s the right thing to do.

Encourage your younger kids to show you what sites they visit and ask them the purpose for it. Often you will find they are just curious about words they have heard in a certain racy sitcom or a friend has mentioned something to them that they wanted to investigate for themselves. Its your opportunity to encourage them to ask you the question 1st and the both of you can then discover the answer together.

It is essential to set the ground rules and have an agreement with your child. You need to be consistent and tough if the rules are not adhered to. Have you ever tried un-seeing something? It can’t be done. Bear that in mind and how traumatic certain issues online can be for youngsters.

If you have young kids who have been given devices, you must insist that use of those devices takes place in the presence of a parent. Under no circumstances should young kids be left with their devices unsupervised. Even if you have activated parental controls, you have a duty to check and re-check what your little angel is up to. Research apps before you download it for your kids. It is a recipe for disaster if you let your kids talk you into downloading an App if your haven’t researched it. Do not take the word of another parent. Kids mature at different ages and what works for Timmy many not necessarily be appropriate for Joan at the same developmental stage. If you choose not to hand your child a device, I can strongly assure you that no one has died from a lack thereof.

If your child is of the legal age to set up social media accounts, it is time to have a discussion with them about the benefits and risks associated with having an online life. If they lack an understanding of the inherent dangers, it safe to assume they are not yet mature enough to handle a social media life on any platform.

You should be your child’s friend or follower on all their social media accounts, especially those younger than 16. They don’t have to claim you as a family member but you need to ensure that their pages have posts, comments and conversations that are appropriate.

Try not to let your child connect to public Wi-Fi especially since some of them do not have filters to block inappropriate content.

The following are platforms that should not be allowed for use by your kids if they are less than 17 years old:

• Yellow – Think Tinder for teen teens

• Omegle - webcam chat with live graphic content

• Sarahah - Can be used for anonymous bullying

• Whisper - Inappropriate content

• Live.ly - Live video content with minimal censoring

My final thoughts on this would be:

• Do be actively involved in your child’s online activities

• Do use common sense

• Do set your own rules for your own family to make sure your kids are safe. Do not just follow the rest of the herd!