Aint Nobody Got Time for That

Many people have a giggle when they realise that my birthday is mid-month in January. We all know the drill. Everybody is counting pennies until pay day. Well, except those who work in Government. They got paid on the 15th those lucky so and so’s. Despite the timing of my birth, I was richly spoiled by friends and family. I arrived at work the previous day to a table just for me with a custard filled doughnut for breakfast. I spent my day with my favourite guy who was intent on buying me stuff the whole day through and I ate cake for supper. I'm sure you can tell that food is an important part of my celebrations.

Much like the approach to 31 December every year, the approach to birthdays give you the chance to reflect, re-examine, set goals and make changes. The usual weight loss goals, writing goals, no-shopping-for-new-shoes and I’m-going-to-eat-healthy-goals. I did the same this year.

A very busy 24 months that has gone by and I entered the last of my years as a forty-something. The older I get, the more reason I have to be very grateful for the life I have been blessed with. It most certainly was not always a walk in the park. It still isn’t. Life is messy, frustrating, exciting, fulfilling and unpredictable but I am certain that the God who created the universe knows exactly where I am heading.

I have days when my faith dips. I have days where I am asking why. I have days where I’m shaking my head in wonder  at the miraculous and I have days where I have no words because I’m overwhelmed by some of the tragic things that happen in our broken world. Still, I am confident that my Father in heaven is in control.

Part of the journey has been reaching a stage where I have little tolerance for certain things. I don’t mean patience. I admit that aging has made me so patient that some days I shock myself. I’m talking about tolerance. Accepting whatever is dished out to you. Tolerance says nothing is wrong and nothing needs to change. Tolerating bad behaviour, bad service, bad advice, bad manners, bad counsel, bad products. If it has the word ‘bad’ in front of it, I’m going to say something about it. More often than not, I am in trouble for being intolerant. I'm just speaking the truth. And the truth these days is not popular. How dare I demand that I get what I paid for. How dare I call someone out about their nonsense behaviour. Oh, I dare.

Maybe it’s just me. I go to pay for something that’s on special and it gets scanned at full price. I walk around a store, hunting for a salesperson to help me, and then they get resentful that I dare ask them to do their job. I sit down and order a delectable starter at a top notch restaurant for my birthday, and get served raw prawns. Now, there are plenty of things I have no control over, but the things that I can control, well now, I dare to make this new year an exceptionally different one.

 #rawprawns😵‍💫

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Divas and Dramas

We were recently having a convo with my girls about why I attended a different school than Roland and my sister, who were school mates. I was trying to explain to them that the school I attended offered speech and drama as a subject choice for matric, while the school closest to where I lived, didn’t. If things had played out differently, I’m pretty sure I would have pursued a completely different career than law. Who knows? Maybe I would have had a role on Isidingo (my age is really showing) or The Kandasamys!

Some people love drama. Getting a cup of coffee can be drama. Tying a shoelace must bring drama. Eating a freaking cupcake must be dramatic. If you say no to an invite-drama. If you go to coffee with someone and didn’t include them-drama. Entering the last year of my forties, I am trying to do it with as little drama as possible.

Ditch the drama.  Ditch the high maintenance Divas who create the drama. We are not living an episode of Dubai Bling. Make some new friends if you have to. Unnecessary drama just brings more wrinkles and grey hair. Aint nobody got time for that.

Say, Say, Say, What You Want

The number of years I have wasted waiting for people to figure out what I want. Nobody can read your mind. They certainly have never read mine in the past 49 years.  

If someone asks, ‘Where would you like to eat?’ just tell them. If someone asks, ‘What do you want for your birthday or Christmas or Valentine’s Day?’ – just tell them!  Save yourself…..and them....... the drama mentioned above and say what you want. If someone asks for your preference – tell them. I used to say, ‘I’m easy,’ or “Left to you,’ or ‘Anything is fine.’ No. They have asked. Make a choice. Aint nobody got time for that.

From a Distance

Yes, I’m too old now to keep toxic people in my life. I still love them……from a distance. I still pray for them…..from a distance. If those toxic people chose to move to Mars, I would send them a thank you card and a packet of biltong for the trip. Life is way too precious to keep such people in your space. As a parent, it is my utmost priority to limit any time these kinds of people spend with my children. The naysayers, the negative Nancys, the complainers, the grumpy Gus’s – no. Out you go. Aint nobody got time for that.

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The Great Pretender

Why do we do this? Pretend that everything is fine? Cover up bad behavior of others to keep the peace. Paste a smile on our faces and carry on doing life when we are dying a slow death inside. Take off the masks. No-one benefits from this. In fact, what it does, is encourage the bad behavior to continue. Most people just want peace in their lives. One step towards that peace, is to stop pretending. Aint nobody got time for that.

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Deepfakes

I don’t want to just assume that you all know what this is. A basic explanation is a digitally altered video of one person so that they appear to be someone else. Artificial intelligence is used to create realistic looking, but often fabricated content. Think Tom Cruise on your screen with Frank Sinatra’s voice crooning ‘I did it my way’. Deepfakes typically have a malicious intent.

Same applies to the ‘real’ fakes I have spotted in my life. No-one who is fake could possibly have good intentions towards me. The sugary comments laced with an insult. The high pitched giggles masking contempt. The fake smiles and the cordial, "How are you?" when the knife is concealed behind your back. Can you spot the fake? I sound like I’m providing training to the staff in the organisation I work at. But can you?

If you can, it’s time to delete them from your life. Fake people. Aint nobody got time for that.

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Truth or Lies

Oh, I love the way people say own your truth. Speak your truth. How many truths are there then? In a court of law, can there be 2 truths? How can we all have our own versions of truth? Or perhaps you think that at my age some of grey cells are dying rapidly and I’m now talking nonsense?

When people throw about these ‘own your truth’ campaigns, it reminds me of the book of Judges in the Bible. When everyone did what was right in their own eyes. They basically all owned their own truth. Aint nobody got time for that!

There is one truth for me and it’s found in the Bible, the word of God. Some days I fall terribly short of adhering to the principles, but I will keep trying.

 Isaiah 40:8  The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

I stand on that truth.

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Critters who criticize

People will criticise. Do what you love anyways. A friend told me over lunch during the Christmas break how someone tore apart her video of when she was nurturing an orchid. She felt so despondent that she took down her video. I said, “Ignore them and put your video back up.”

In fact, I would have found that person and said, “Run your own damn race, stay in your own damn lane.”

Dance even if you dance badly. Sing even if the birds jointly migrate when you do.

Someone didn’t like a piece I wrote. I entered my work in 5 competitions and got back proper feedback and worthwhile criticism. Go write your own bloody book if you want. Start your own damn blog.

Someone told me I sing pitchy. I sing more now. I even joined the church choir! As long as I’m pitchy with a P and not pitchy with a B, we’re all good. You are going to hear my voice.

Gossip got back to me that someone said I’m insecure. Now I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say, “Wow, you awesome creature made in the image of God!” Come and disagree with me that I’m not made in the image of God!

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I stole this phrase, “Aint nobody got time for that” from a renowned speaker called Priscilla Shirer. On any given day, I would cross my fingers and think maybe I should tag her on social media when I post this. Maybe she will read my blog? Maybe she will get a kick out of being quoted (highly unlikely!) She is an awesome preacher and author.

But in this instance, I hope she doesn’t. Because I want to be so bold and to add to her phrase and remind myself that for 2024, my mantra is going to be, “Aint nobody got time for sheeeeeet like that!”

#50loading#NoMoreDrama#NoMorePretending